


"not what I meant" (18+)

by royalsunshinehotel



Category: Modern Love - Fandom, Modern Love 2019
Genre: F/M, i'm happy for you, you get the head of your LIFE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:56:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29830104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/royalsunshinehotel/pseuds/royalsunshinehotel
Summary: Joshua interacts with Emma briefly. He's trying to make you understand it meant nothing.
Relationships: Joshua Madika/Reader, Joshua/reader
Kudos: 1





	"not what I meant" (18+)

“That’s not what I meant, you know it’s not.” Joshua pants into you. He’d just been pounding you into the mattress trying to prove a point about how his brief interaction with his ex was nothing.

It wasn’t. 

Deep down you know it wasn’t, and yet you’d still started crying the moment he’d dropped you off at your door. 

“Will you stop? If it’s her it’s okay. I swear it is.” You reply breathily, starting to come down from the thrill his touch. It wasn’t fair that he gets to make you feel like this. 

That was your fault though, you think. You don’t let men twist you up in knots like this. 

He’d stepped in it with something he said, but in a way you had too. 

“You still want her.” You state into the air. Joshua’s pulled back, and he’s resting his face against your shoulder. 

You proceed to babble about Emma, just jumping off what he’d told you, until it’s too much. 

Joshua hushes you in a low voice, eerily calm despite the fact you’d both been yelling at each other for about a half hour. He says your name and it goes straight to your chest. He nudges your nose with his and you sigh into his mouth. 

You were going to get up but you can’t move. 

But you’re mad at him. You’re livid. 

Joshua doesn’t kiss you. He usually does. He usually trails his lips down your body, peppering kisses and cracking bad jokes the whole way. 

Not this time. 

You reach for him, bur he pulls back.

“Don’t move. If you move you get nothing.” He snaps, making you shiver. Joshua doesn’t snap, he barely raises his voice. When he does, he sounds like a cartoon character. 

Not now, apparently. 

He presses you onto your back and lets his sharp nose graze every part of you. . You need more and he’s not giving it to you. 

He grazes your jaw, your throat, pausing in your clavicle long enough to make you whine involuntarily. 

There aren’t any words you could say. What would you say? What could capture the fact that you’d been ready to fight his ex-girlfriend for breathing the same air as what’s yours? And he lit up when he was with Emma, when had he ever acted that way with you? 

The train of thought goes off the tracks when he starts in on you, finally. 

Joshua starts licking along your chest, your nipples, sucking each one in his mouth. 

Between the biting, twisting, tasting, your hands reach for his hair. He quickly catches you by your wrists and pins them down by your side. 

You’re trapped. 

All you can do is pant while he plays with you how he wants. You just want to get close to him, wrap your legs around him and make him stay, but he’s got his own plans. 

“YN.” He repeats you name a few times, casting it into the air, so it could land all over our skin. 

“mmmm- need you to listen,” Joshua rests a moment on your stomach, letting his beard tickle the sensitive skin there. 

“Emma never once made me feel the way you do.” You want to respond. You want to pick a fight so bad, your head starts to pound. You’ve got nothing. 

“I love you so much.” He buries his nose in the little patch of hair that protects you, inhaling and cutting off any thoughts you still had lingering in your brain evaporated. 

Joshua had given you head numerous times, but this is different. 

He runs his warm tongue up your folds, not opening yet, just teasing. You buck your hips up into his face and whine into your hand. 

You clench again. 

With quick hands, he pries you open, spreading you apart and exposing you to the cold air. 

“All for me? Thank you.” He compliments. He’s such a goddamn geek, you could pick a fight with him about that too. The words go right to your stomach, he takes your wrists again, and you barely register his hot breath on you. 

You let out a mewl, unable to find words before his mouth is on you, sucking harshly. He hums into you as you arch your back. He’s going to devour you whole and you’re going to let him. 

There’s nothing you wouldn’t let him do at this point. 

Joshua’s mouth opens up the rest of you, tasting himself with you as he continues to leak from your abused heat. You’re sweet for him, he’d normally tell you, praise you as much as he wants, but Joshua’s nothing if not determined. He’s trying to prove a point, and he’s going to make it. 

He groans into the softest part of you and it goes straight to your center, a familiar twisting in your chest getting overwhelming.

God. 

Emma? Who the hell is Emma? 

Possession? 

No not possession, he just to keep you with him forever. He doesn’t want to be without you. You’re his. You’re supposed to be with him. The feeling he gets when he tastes himself in you proves it. 

Hell the feeling he gets when he sees you proves it. 

God. 

Joshua slurps and hums and licks at you like he never wanted to do anything else. You can’t handle anything at that moment. He’s hungry. 

Joshua takes your wrist and moves it to his hair. 

You immediately brace yourself on his soft hair, pulling his face further into you. His warm hands go to your thighs, pulling you further open, as if you hadn’t been here before. 

He gasps as he shoves his face further into you, like he’s scared you’ll pull away, or ask him to stop. A sick thought floats into your head, Joshua’s trying to prove himself. 

But it quickly floats away as his vibrations run up your spine and you push harder, legs starting to shake as it starts getting hard to catch your breath. 

“Needy for me.” He mumbles against you, not even pulling away from a moment. His voice is low, and when you look down, his pupils are blown out, eyes are practically glazed over. 

He’s gone. You are too. 

You let out a pathetic sob at his words, trying to breathe more normal, but all you can do is hang onto the bed and try and meet his tongue. 

He’s relentless with you, and it’s wonderful. 

Joshua keeps his lips soft on your overheated clit. He’s licking, sucking while you’re stuck in your own head, drowning in what he’s giving you while he drowns in you. The two of you are gone, the partition between you and the outside world completely closed. You’re safe. 

“Fuck, she’s so pretty,” you start to chatter, barely remembering why you were mad, “you should have told me how pretty she was.” You feel Joshua’s jaw clench against your thigh. 

“Stop it.” He mumbles against your soaking folds. But you can’t. You can’t seem to shut the hell up. Joshua puts his mouth back on you, licking you up, drinking you in, taking you back into his mouth. 

“You smiled at her, you were happy to see her.” You feel him sigh, making you mewl, bucking your hips into his face again, but his grip holds you steady. 

“You were just chatting like nothing baAAaAd ever happened!” He lets his teeth graze you, making you lose your balance even though your flat on your back. 

“Stop talking.” You barely hear him, just feeling vibrations flowing through you. You’re thoughts are racing and you can’t stop. You don’t feel his nails start to dig into you. It stings and it burns, but you don’t even know. 

“I want to cook for you,” Joshua smiles for a moment,” I-I-I’m not so bad at it.” Your back arches again on the soft mattress, and Joshua’s grip only gets tighter, pulling you down harder and further into his face. He’s trying to suffocate himself. 

His sharp nose bumps into your clit and you sob, fist hitting the mattress, as you let him drag you across his tongue.

He’s trying to shut you up, but you’re incoherent. You can’t understand a damn thing. Never in your life have you been fucked stupid. You’re rambling. You’re crying. Why? You’re overstimulated, of course your crying. 

But you’ve tested his patience long enough. 

“Shut up.” His voice drops into a growl.

Joshua punctuates his words by shoving two of his long fingers into your pulsing pussy, up to his fucking knuckles. He’s evil. You can’t breathe and he’s evil. His pace is brutal as he scissors, curls, and drags them along your stiff, front wall. 

Your seeing stars. 

You vaguely register a large hand on your stomach, pressing down, only because it destroys you. 

You scream, but you can’t hear yourself. You don’t know how bent your back is, and how far your falling. 

You’re pulsing for him, and he’s drinking everything you give him, he shoves his tongue back into you, paired with eager hands. 

You’re crying and wriggling and grasping at his scalp, grip desperate. Your heart’s pounding in your ears and it’s all too much. You’re trying to pry him away, or pull him closer. You can’t tell. 

Joshua doesn’t seem to care. 

His fingers scrape everything out of you, his mouth waiting to take whatever you have left. 

What did you have left to give at this point? 

He gives your swollen pussy a sweet kiss before he comes up from under you, slowly curling your legs to your side as you cross your arms over your chest in a sad hug, shoulders seeming to vibrate. 

You’re trembling. When did that start? 

How were you supposed to kiss him again, after knowing what his mouth can do? 

His dark eyes take you in for a moment before he groans, voice raspy. 

Joshua takes a grip on your rear in the dark, firmly grasping your soft skin and pulling. 

He pulls you to him until you have no choice but you overlap him, limp legs swinging up over him. You settle, sopping wet, still gasping. Joshua’s hands catch your arms, adjusting your head onto his chest. 

His breath is uneven, matching yours.

“You don’t trust me” He lets a hand rest on the side of your neck, “I’m so sorry.” 

You tentatively reach a shaking hand over the expanse of his chest, letting yourself take him in for a moment. 

“It’s not you,” Your voice feels light, wispy, ”It’s her.” You felt you had no right to say these things. The two of you were new, and you’re insecure. That wasn’t his fault, but he’d just tried to make it better. 

But once again, the train of thought goes off it’s tracks as you feel his chest under your hand. Your not familiar with his skin just yet, but you will be. 

You look up to see Joshua’s eyes closed, dark hair sticking up against the clean, white pillow. 

Your asleep within minutes.


End file.
